“One day I will return, and I will hug them so hard that they will understand at that moment how much I missed them. Meanwhile, I have only words to let them know how much I love them, and to ease my conscience.”
There are days like these when I want to go home.
It can start with something small. Music that’s a little bit sad, a movie with a touching end, a moving discussion, causing the longing.
Traveling is not always being on vacation. It is not about just leaving all of our problems behind us to go on an adventure. This is not an anti-social act or any kind of rebellion. The journey is a spiritual quest. Every step is a lesson, every day is a page read in a book written in a foreign language, which speaks of wisdom. Each moment teaches me the meaning of each word, and I do not intend to read the book diagonally.
So when my friends let me know that they miss me, it reminds me of my solitude. It reminds me that the quest that I am making requires a huge sacrifice, that of living and thinking alone.
My best friend told me a few days ago that I’m one of the people who understands him best, and that I am his brother. I could only answer that I also missed him, and that he is my family, just like my father or my mother.
My mother herself wrote to share her love and say that she is proud of me. My father often asks for news from me, and never forgets to let me know that he loves me.
These messages of love touch my heart, make me proud to know how lucky I am to have them, and that the distance doesn’t matter because they are always with me.
I sacrificed valuable time, time that passes so quickly, in their company to learn more about myself, more about the world, and to make this place a better one.
It is a sacrifice. I have found happiness, peace, my place here on earth and I feel useful. But at what cost ! And knowing that they are there, without being able to see them, hold them in my arms, tell them in person that I love them, all these people who are my family.
Often, we think about you. We think ‘hey! that would make him laugh! But I constantly think about them, too. I constantly think that I would like to share what I’m experiencing with them. What is the point of doing good things, of trying to become better, if we can’t share it with the people we love?
All of my thoughts, however, are not negative, on the contrary, don’t worry. This is just to help you to understand what I lack. I do not intend to make my trip a priesthood. Oh no! Every moment is indeed, a pleasure. I meet great people. Some become my friends, whose fate binds to mine for a while. For many, we are called to see each other another time. For others, I keep in my heart the memories of wonderful moments shared with them and the lessons they have taught me.
One day I will return, and I will hug them so hard that they will understand at that moment how much I missed them. Meanwhile, I have only words to let them know how much I love them, and to ease my conscience.
But tomorrow, everything will be better. I will take to the road, I will let my skin absorb the sun, I will meet other great people, and I will take one more step in space and time that separates me from my family, left at home.
Originally written by Sebastien Lambrosi via https://skullythetraveler.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/missing-people/